The Wonder Woman movie finally came out, and since it A) didn’t suck and B) made $100 million on its debut weekend, left-wingers and right-wingers are all freaking out, albeit for different reasons.

The left is saying that it somehow validates feminism and the right is attacking the movie for being feminist.

The problem is they’re both wrong (as usual). I shall explain.

1. The Wonder Woman movie is not a feminist movie.

Let’s get this straight. I saw this movie last week and it is in no way a “feminist” movie, a “SJW movie” or even a left-leaning movie. Maleficent, Frozen, Star Wars The Force Awakens, Ghostbusters, yeah man, those were feministy movies, yes, but Wonder Woman isn’t. Here are the reasons:

– Unlike movies like Ghostbusters, the movie doesn’t portray all men as either pussies or assholes. There are very strong, positive Alpha Male characters in this film. The main male character in the movie is sexually aggressive and initiates sexual contact, unlike in feministy movies where the woman is hitting on the man.

Indeed, it is the main male character in the movie who saves the day at the end (by destroying a plane full of poison gas) rather than Wonder Woman who just defeats a villain who didn’t even do what she thought he had done.

– As I’ve said many times, it’s fine to see a tiny woman beat the shit out of man much larger than her as long as the story explains this in a way that makes sense. If she’s an alien or a robot or something like that, then fine; it makes sense. In movies like Columbiana and Star Wars Rogue One, the tiny woman beats the crap out of guys double her size because, well, because she’s a Strong Independent Woman™, which of course is bullshit. Wonder Woman beats the shit out of men in this movie because she’s a GOD. Yes, she’s an actual god in this movie. Okay, she’s a god. Now it makes sense. Cool with me.

– Unlike in movies like Star Wars The Force Awakens, Wonder Woman isn’t suddenly awesome at everything for no reason. The movie clearly explains and shows that she’s been in combat training her entire life, since she was a little girl, and was being trained harder than anyone else. That’s why she now has combat skill. Combined with her literally godlike strength, and it now makes sense she can beat the shit out of a bunch of guys. In other words, she’s not just super because she’s a girl; she’s super because she’s a god with decades of combat training. That makes sense.

– Wonder Woman never throws out stupid, feminist lines of dialogue about how she’s a woman, even during scenes were I was expecting her to do so. She just does things. She just wants to do what’s right.

There’s one scene where the male lead says she can’t enter an area because it’s a “no man’s land,” which means “no man can go there.” I thought Wonder Woman would say something stupid like, “Well, I’m not a MAN!” but instead, she doesn’t. She just says she wants to do what’s right, and then jumps and fights some soldiers. Never once did Wonder Woman bring up anything about gender, which I thought was a nice breath of fresh air for a female character in a movie.

– Wonder Woman, in the movie, isn’t perfect. She makes all kinds of mistakes and is very naive. She’s a very flawed character. The entire big twist at the end (which frankly is easy to see coming) was that (minor spoiler here) she was completely wrong about who the bad guy was and what he was doing.

– There are no politics in the movie, left or right, and I was watching carefully for any hint of of them. Anyone who accuses this movie of having an overt political agenda is seeing something in their own head, not what was actually on the screen.

2. The Wonder Woman movie is NOT “great.” It’s just okay.

After the last several disastrously bad DC superhero movies (Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad, etc), everyone expected this next DC superhero movie to suck, me included. To all of our surprise, it wasn’t bad. It was okay. But, since everyone was expecting a bad movie, it being okay irrationally convinced people that it was GREAT. There are people actually saying this is the “best superhero movie ever made.” It’s got a 93% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Horseshit! This movie isn’t great. It isn’t anywhere near great. It’s okay, sure. It’s a decently entertaining movie with two charismatic main characters. That’s it. Great? Fuck no. Not even close. The second act drags, the villains are really bland, boring and hammy, the final battle is the usual stupid, tedious CGI bullshit, pretty much all of the supporting characters are really weak, the music sucks, the color scheme for most of the movie looks like shit, and the action scenes are good, but there isn’t very much of them. This should be a 60% Rotten Tomatoes movie, not 93%. Hell, 93% is what Captain America Civil War should be (and it’s only 90%!) and Wonder Woman is no where NEAR Civil War. NO WHERE NEAR IT. Left-wingers are so irrationally excited that since the movie doesn’t suck and actually has a female lead, it must be GREAT! NO, you dumbasses! It’s just okay. Calm the fuck down. Seriously.

As usual with this irrational politicization of everything, everyone needs to take a few deep breaths, turn on their brains, and think rationally. Left-wingers, this is an okay movie, not a great one, and has nothing to do with politics or feminism, so calm down. Right-wingers, this movie is no more feminist than any other typical superhero movie, so calm down.

Screw it. I’m still waiting for the next Predator movie.

15 thoughts on “This Whole Wonder Woman Thing

  1. Ok. At the very end of the movie, a chestburster from the Alien movies bursts out of Chris Pine’s chest. It grows to a full size queen in less than ten seconds, then eats Wonder Woman, steals her powers, and puts on her outfit and all of her weapons.

    Alien Queen Wonder Woman will be the sequel.

  2. As I suspected when I saw all this over the top hype about this being the best superhero movie EVER!!!!!  People are so afraid of criticizing anything female centric in this day and age I just figured they’d suck at the teat of this flick to look more accepting and progressive.

    There’s no way this tops the Dark Knight (or anything else in the new Batman trilogy) or the Captain America series.  I really liked the Guardians of the Galaxy movies too-really fun without being corny.  I’m glad WW didn’t totally suck since DC needed a win.  Suicide Squad was shit but I didn’t think B vs S was that bad (turns out some bad editing removed some scenes that helped things make more sense).   I really enjoyed Man of Steel and hope that Justice League turns out ok.

    I’m a huge Aliens fan (well the first 2 of course) so I’m curious about Covenant-did you see it?

  3. I was hoping you’d put out a “review” of this movie, Caleb.  And I have to agree, you’re spot on with your critique.

    Like you said, there were quite a few instances where the movie could’ve thrown in a social/political slant, and it was VERY refreshing that they didn’t.  It was a very solid origin story that showed Wonder Woman as the character she is known for being: Kick-ass, but compassionate, with the naïveté towards humanity’s ways that makes for good humor at times.

    And hey, Gal Gadot didn’t suck like many figured she would (mostly thanks to the writers and director I’m sure), but still a good performance.

    Hopefully the DCEU gets better from here on out.  *Crosses fingers* Please let Justice League kick ass.

  4. Suicide Squad

    Anyone who saw that should have gotten their money back. I’d argue that it was as bad, or even worse, than Fant4Stic, which is easily one of the worst comic book movies of the 2010s.

    I think WW is a turn in the right direction for Hollywood, who is finally understanding that “Feminist” movies are pretty much the same as anything involving John Wayne, only with the genders reversed.

    But then again that’s probably wishful thinking on my part haha.

  5. I’m a huge Aliens fan (well the first 2 of course) so I’m curious about Covenant-did you see it?

    Oh yes, Firefly and I went and saw it the day it came out. If you went in with mild expectations, Covenant was great. If you went in with “OMFG Ridley Scott made another Alien movie this is going to be amazing!!!” expectations, then you were upset.

    I had mild expectations, so I really liked it, despite some of it’s obvious problems. Michael Fassbender needs to be in every movie ever made from now on.

    I was hoping you’d put out a “review” of this movie, Caleb.  And I have to agree, you’re spot on with your critique.

    Yeah, although technically this isn’t a review, more of a commentary on people’s reactions. I’m not going to do full-bore movie reviews unless the movie is unusually good or unusually important (Wonder Woman is neither).

    Please let Justice League kick ass.

    You know, those Justice League trailers look really, really shitty. I want it to be good too (I’ve been waiting for a Justice League movie for 40 years), but my expectations for that movie are in the toilet at this point.

  6. Spot on analysis of WW… we just saw it yesterday and enjoyed it…. hope you will give your commentary on the next movie we’re about to go see..”The Mummy.”

  7. I saw it twice just because shes so damn beautiful.

    I did notice some SJW lines:  she did say men were unnecessary for physical pleasure, and something about being a secretary is like slavery…  also they certainly made a point of having her interrupt the military generals even though women werent allowed in the room.  Plus, there was some SJW white guilt from the native american dude saying white people killed off his people, and the middle eastern guy saying his skin was too dark to be an actor.  (Even though he looked eerily like a middle eastern Sammy Davis Jr.)

    But watching a half naked woman doin slow motion flips doesnt really advance a feminist agenda, I agree.

    On a side note, Gal Gadot married a millionaire real estate investor when she was 22, which is also a bit outside of the feminist path.

  8. I saw it twice just because shes so damn beautiful.

    Her face definitely is, but I wouldn’t touch her body with a 10 foot pole. But to each his own.

    I did notice some SJW lines

    Yes, but those aren’t anything out of the ordinary for any Hollywood movie these days. The men and pleasure thing was, to me, just a way for the writers to explain an island full of women. The Indian thing didn’t strike me at SJW at all; just a statement of fact. Etc.

    But watching a half naked woman doin slow motion flips doesnt really advance a feminist agenda, I agree.

    On a side note, Gal Gadot married a millionaire real estate investor when she was 22, which is also a bit outside of the feminist path.

    Haha! Yep, Gal Gadot is not the fire-breathing feminist actress that Felicity Jones is (as just one example).

  9. What did you think about the history in the movie.  I saw this tweet:
    @BobMurphyEcon  Jun 3

    More

    “Wonder Woman” fills a big gap in the superhero movie genre. Previously we’ve blamed the Germans for WW2, but this also blames them for WW1.

  10. Great points overall. I love that they gave her an actual character arc that involves her struggling to overcome both inner flaws and outer conflicts. It’s rare to actually see that kind of character development for a female role. Just look at Star Wars TFA for contrast.

    Besides, Gal Gadot is hot AF (to me at least), so that wasn’t hurting anything.  😀

    As an aside, the men being unnecessary for pleasure line was actually from the comics if I remember correctly. I thought that line was hilarious in the context that they used it instead of being a super preachy feminist line like it could have been.

    And I didn’t really see the line to the secretary being a feminist line. More of a comment on the state of modern workplaces which, once again, I thought was hilarious.

    I did think having the Native-American character was kind of weird since there was no real reason for him to be there, but he didn’t detract from the story, so I’m cool with it. It’s fiction after all, haha.

    As far as your final notes go, as someone with experience as a colorist, I totally disagree about the color scheme looking like shit. In particular, they managed to actually have a black point in the shadows (which Marvel movies almost never have), while the use of subtle changes in color and light value in the darker scenes really brought out a lot of detail in the shadows at the same time. I also loved how in the bathing scene and the end battle, they used the glowing water and fire respectively to add brilliant pops of color into scenes that would have otherwise looked unnecessarily dark.

    I also liked how they utilized color and texture in the costume designs, especially the contrast between Gal’s blue dress in the gala scene and the hard-worn bronze and silver textures of the sword on her back.

    So I really can’t agree that the aesthetic choices were bad. But in the end, I think those are more preference than anything else.

  11. As far as your final notes go, as someone with experience as a colorist, I totally disagree about the color scheme looking like shit. In particular, they managed to actually have a black point in the shadows (which Marvel movies almost never have), while the use of subtle changes in color and light value in the darker scenes really brought out a lot of detail in the shadows at the same time. I also loved how in the bathing scene and the end battle, they used the glowing water and fire respectively to add brilliant pops of color into scenes that would have otherwise looked unnecessarily dark.

    You make some very good points. I think you might have changed my mind on that. Many of those colors were pretty good.

  12. I know you haven’t been doing them since you did that poll on here (which I unfortunately missed), but it’s a shame you don’t do movie reviews anymore. They were really good!

  13. I agree with John about movie reviews; it’d be great to see some more (both single-movie articles and articles briefly reviewing multiple ones). I think I voted in their favor in the poll but I don’t remember how that went.

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