Movies I Will and Won’t See in 2019 - Caleb Jones

I just went through the tentative movie release schedule for 2019. Following my new system of not seeing a lot of movies anymore, which has been working very well, below are the movies I plan on seeing, perhaps might see, and definitely won’t see.

I’ve found that if I largely ignore the movie critics and instead focus on fan buzz for a movie, my odds of selecting a good or bad movie are pretty good. If the fans say it’s bad, it’s probably bad. If they say it’s good, it’s probably good (unless they are brainwashed by a particular franchise). Whereas if the critics say a movie is good or bad, it really depends; sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re not.

Here’s my list…

Movies I Will Definitely See In 2019 Unless The Fan Buzz Is Really Terrible

I will definitely see these movies unless the audience scores are really, really bad.

Glass – Unbreakable was awesome and Split is one of my favorite movies of the last 20 years. Hell yes I’m seeing Glass. Can’t wait.

Captain Marvel – I don’t really want to see this, but I view this as required viewing if I’m going to enjoy the next Avengers movie, which I’m definitely going to see.

Avengers – Of course.

John Wick Chapter 3 – Of course. These movies are fantastic, a tiny light in a sea of shit.

Godzilla: King of Monsters  – The last Godzilla movie suffered from the fact that you barely saw Godzilla. I’m confident that they will fix this problem in this movie, since he will fight all of my favorite monsters from my childhood: Rodan, Mothra, and King Ghidorah. Cool.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood – Quentin Tarantino is probably the best filmmaker of our era. Hell yes, I’m there.

Movies I Will See Only If The Fan Buzz Is Really Good

I will plan on not seeing these movies unless the audience scores are usually good, say over 80-85% or so.

Alita: Battle Angel – This is one of those “the trailer looks really good but it will probably suck” movies. So we’ll see.

Shazam! – As above. This movie could be really dumb or could be groundbreaking good. It’s 50/50.

Hellboy – Hellboy 2 is one of my favorite movies ever, but this reboot isn’t being done by Guillermo del Toro. Hm.

Dark Phoenix – The last X-Men movie (Apocalypse) was absolutely terrible and a huge letdown, so we’ll see what the fans say about this. If they love it, I’ll go. Otherwise I’ll pass.

It: Chapter Two – If it’s as good as the first movie, I’ll see it. (Interesting side note: Pink Firefly loves horror movies and I think they’re dumb, yet she hated It and I liked it. Weird.)

Gemini Man – Interesting premise. Maybe.

Joker – This could be a total cluster fuck, and probably will be. But if the buzz is good I’ll give it a shot.

Terminator – God dammit. GOD DAMMIT! The left-wingers might have killed this franchise too (just like they killed Dr. Who, Star Wars, Star Trek, etc.). I was looking forward to this since James Cameron is behind it, but then all the silly SJW stuff about it came to light. We’ll see, but it doesn’t look good.

Movies I Will Not See No Matter What

The next Star Wars movie – Nope. I’m done with Star Wars. They’ve killed it. These new Star Wars movies are not Star Wars movies; they’re goofy, slapstick comedies set in a Star Wars-like universe. If I want to see that kind of thing I’ll re-watch Spaceballs which was far superior. If you want more info on this, read this.

Kingsman 3 – They screwed up this one too. No.

Hobbs and Shaw – I might see this on video, but not in the theaters. The Fast and Furious franchise has just gotten too stupid, and that’s saying something.

The New Mutants – Kill me. Looks terrible.

Men In Black reboot – Are you fucking kidding me? (And that trailer was shit.)

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21 Comments on “Movies I Will and Won’t See in 2019

  1. I was extremely excited for Hellboy. I liked the comics and the dark fantasy vibe of the first two, but the trailer left me absolutely speechless and made me physically cringe. Also, Milla Jovovich is a terrible actress.

  2. ‘Joker’ is in one of my must-see movies list. It would be a pleasure to see Joaquin Phoenix take up the role of the infamous villain. You should definitely check out his movie “Her”. Haven’t got around to watching it, but the audience and critics praise it alike.

    Will give Kingsman a shot. I love watching cool choreographed action sequences. Iam in it, no matter how it turns out to be.

    I agree about MIB International. It should have never took off the ground. But it is here and it will be a bomb. I have no idea why people are so excited about it. I will pass.

    PS : Iam getting a strong feeling that Godzilla will be bad. We are done with all the dinosaur movies, and until hollywood comes up with a fresh story, it is not going to work. Looking at the trailer, it gives a ‘just another dino movie to milk cash’ vibe.

  3. Instead of another Godzilla movie they need to make the thing that is still not done but would have hilarious name: King Kong in Hong Kong.

  4. I had the unfortunate experience last night of watching Bird Cage.*

    I saw news stories where speds were walking around with blind folds on. I presume these are the same people who try to cast spells with wands.

    * I thought of your article where you were glad you watched less movies, because even though you saw terrible ones, at least you saw LESS terrible ones.

  5. I was extremely excited for Hellboy.

    I love Hellboy but I also know the odds are huge that they’ll screw it up just like they’ve been screwing everything else up in the last few years.

    I liked the comics and the dark fantasy vibe of the first two, but the trailer left me absolutely speechless and made me physically cringe. Also, Milla Jovovich is a terrible actress.

    Yup.

    ‘Joker’ is in one of my must-see movies list. It would be a pleasure to see Joaquin Phoenix take up the role of the infamous villain.

    Yeah but see above what I just said about how Hollywood is screwing everything up lately.

    Just because you have an amazing lead actor doesn’t mean anything. Tom Hardy was in Venom for fuck’s sake… look how that turned out.

    You should definitely check out his movie “Her”.

    Seen it twice. Fantastic movie, I agree. (Filmed in Shanghai too, my second favorite city in the world, where the future is now.)

    I had the unfortunate experience last night of watching Bird Cage.

    Bird Cage was a great movie and very funny (albeit left-wing, but almost all movies are left-wing). I think you meant Bird Box. PF and I saw it over the Xmas holiday; I thought it was just “eh, okay.”

  6. Hello!

    Why aren’t you excited for Captain Marvel?

    Personally, I think it looks a bit boring. Like you, the only reason I’m seeing it’s because it’s part of the MCU.

    But let’s hope they do something interesting.

  7. Why aren’t you excited for Captain Marvel?

    It looks too much like a bunch of SJW girl power shit. But Marvel movies haven’t been too hardcore about that (though the comics have) so I could be wrong.

  8. Can’t wait for Glass. It’s going to be huge. Shyamalan made an awesome universe of superheroes. Hope this will go further than Glass.

  9. Shame Alita is probably going to suck, the comics were great (the original 90’s run, that is). I predict this will go the same way the american Ghost In The Shell seems to have: nice visuals, but meh story.

  10. Bird Cage was a great movie and very funny (albeit left-wing, but almost all movies are left-wing).

    At least the Birdcage showed some kind of union between progressive and tradcon culture. I particularly liked Nathan Lane’s monologue at the end: “We have the same kind of values as you, its just that we have sex with different people.”

    Also the Birdcage was very realistic, depicted LGBT dudes in a pretty accurate way, and gave them human traits. I didn’t care if the movie was screaming some kind of “LGBT rights” narrative at me. That was second nature to the entertainment factor.

    The thing with left wing-ish movies is that if they are at least still entertaining, they can be tolerable. I didn’t dislike the latest Star Wars movies because they were left wing (hell the original trilogy was literally about demonizing Nixon and Kissinger, Lucas said it himself in a couple of interviews; what’s more left wing than that?), I disliked them because they sucked.

    Movies could push Alpha 2 stuff for all I care; but if the screenplay sucks, the acting sucks, nothing is realistic and if it is explicit in pushing their “agenda” and places that as more important than the movie itself, then I’ll trash it too.

    The reason why Swingers is my favorite movie of all time and I watch it every month is not because it’s PUA porn (which it is), its because the acting is awesome and it is literally the most realistic movie I have ever seen.

    The reason why I hated Avatar (how did anyone LIKE that overhyped garbage?) was because it was The Matrix combined with Fern Gully, two movies that tried WAY too hard with their “message.”

  11. Looking forward to John Wick 3. John Wick 2 was the last movie I paid to see….John Wick 3 will be the next movie I pay to see.

  12. Godzilla definitely looks like a “need to see on a big screen” type of movie.

    Did you see Aquaman? I saw it a few nights ago in IMAX, it’s definitely a movie that deserves to be seen on a big screen, and on IMAX it was beautiful. Reviews will complain about the plot and the dialogue, but it looked awesome with Atlantis and all the sea monsters and such. Also, I didn’t pick on any political agenda in it, besides a slight “we shouldn’t dump waste in the ocean” vibe, which I can get behind.

  13. Have you read the book version of IT? Holy shit on one scene near the end. Stephen King is one twisted dude. Obviously left out of the movies.

  14. Have you read the book version of IT?

    No, I don’t like horror (it rarely makes any sense, and I need things to make sense). I read his Dark Tower series though, reviewed it here.

  15. FWIW, my standards for movies are nowhere near as high as yours. I can enjoy a movie even if it is inconsistent, silly, even with some SJW stuff in there. Having said that, I did go and see Aquaman last night. It may be the worst movie that has ever been made. I cannot think of one single redeeming feature.

    (I also went to see Robin Hood — the new one — late last year. I might be wrong, maybe it was worse than Aquaman. Avoid them both. Utterly dreadful.)

     

  16. In the book, the boys gang-bang Beverly in the sewers near the end of the childhood timeline (keep in mind, these are 11-year-olds).

  17. Happy New Year Caleb !

    Yesterday I went to see White Boy Rick, a movie I hadn’t even heard anything about before, it just got out here last week. It is based on the true story of the longest detained American for a non violent crime, drug dealing. Don’t know how faithful it is to the truth but it’s very good.

    If you can bear watching poor loveable people doing one stupid thing after another for two  hours, you’ll like it.

  18. The US reviews on Glass have been pretty terrible. See it as a matinee if you have to, or wait for cable. Shyamalan financed the $20 million budget himself, so he should do well out of it, but it looks like negative word of mouth will hit it.

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