As I talked about at the beginning of the year, I’ve cut way back on my movie watching lately, primarily due to the ongoing cultural collapse, Hollywood’s ability to make good movies has greatly diminished as compared to a few decades ago.

So I’ve been seeing much less movies lately than I normally do. This has improved my overall movie going experience, because I can be pickier about what I see, thus the odds of what I see being good is much higher.

This has really gotten me thinking lately about the kinds of movies I would like to see.

When I was a kid, my fantasy was that someday they would make a big budget full version of the Lord of the Rings, but I knew in my heart that would probably never happen, since LotR is way too long and complex a story to fit into a movie.

Yet, lo and behold, in 2001 Hollywood actually did it, and surprisingly, it was actually good.

The same could be said about the first Transformers movie. When I was a kid in the 80s, a live-action Transformers movie was a dream come true… and that dream finally came true in 2007. That first Transformers movie was actually pretty damn good. (The sequels all sucked of course.)

So movie fantasies really do happen.

Here are a few movies that I fantasize being made someday. Likely they will never happen. Or they will. Or they will be made by fans instead of Hollywood. I have no idea. It’s just fun to think about.

The Amber Chronicles – This is a series of fantasy books written by Roger Zelazny. They feature a warring family of near-gods who constantly plot against one another. The stories take place in many worlds, dimensions, and even our own Earth. The hero of the first five books is my favorite fictional character of all time, Corwin of Amber. The second five aren’t as good (but still decent) and feature his son as the protagonist. I highly recommend the series; it’s one of the best fantasy series ever written and is full of Alpha Male characters.

It would make a great movie. Like Lord of the Rings, The Amber Chronicles would have to be several movies, at least three, but possibly five or six. It would also have to be rated R to be accurate, since there is plenty of sex and violence (though not to Game of Thrones levels).

There has been talk about an Amber movie for years, but it looks like it probably will never happen. It would be amazing if it did though (and it was good and accurate to the books).

A good Aliens vs Predator movie with no (or few) humans in it. – One of my favorite comic books as a kid, and one of the best ideas I ever heard, was to have Aliens and Predators in the same movie, fighting each other.

As you know, they eventually made two movies about this. The problem is they both sucked balls. The first one made you wait over an hour to see the Aliens actually fight Predators while it wasted time with a bunch of poorly-acted human characters. The second movie was just pure shit.

Give me a serious take on an Aliens vs Predator movie. The best way to do this is to have no human beings in the movie. Holy crap, that would be all kinds of awesome. Yes, you could do a movie with literally no dialogue. They had comics like this; no dialogue, just you watching a group of Predators try to navigate a serious problem caused by the Aliens. Coolness.

If no humans is just too much for Hollywood to handle, then fine, throw a few disposable human characters in the first act just to get shit started. Then kill them and get to the good stuff.

The Silmarillion – This book is Tolkien’s prequel to The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And guess what? It’s better than either of them. Yes, it’s better than Lord of the Rings. Way better, at least in my opinion.

The Silmarillion covers a time span of literally tens of thousands of years, from the creation of the planet on which Middle Earth resides, all the way up to the beginning of Lord of the Rings. It could easily be three to six movies, if not more.

If such a thing were too expensive (and it might be, since the CGI required for Silmarillion would be at Speed Racer or Phantom Menace levels) then they could even do animated movies instead of live action. That would be fine with me, provided it was well done.

Seeing the Silmarillion, or even pieces of it on the big screen, and having it be well done, would be a dream come true.

A libertarian-themed movie that isn’t bad. – The few times they try to make libertarian-themed movies, they always turn out really terrible. There are rare exceptions to this; most people don’t realize that the original Ghostbusters is a hardcore libertarian movie, and that was one of the best comedies ever made. But yeah, films like the horrible Atlas Shrugged movies always turn out like shit (the third one in that series was so horrible that I actually felt uncomfortable watching it in the theater).

Give me just one strongly libertarian-themed movie that’s actually good. It can be in any genre; drama, comedy, sci-fi, whatever, I don’t care. Just give me something (besides Ghostbusters) that I can point at and say, “That’s a good libertarian movie! Go watch it!”

A serious take on Transformers – I want to see a Transformers movie that A) is not a comedy and B) features the Transformers as main characters instead of humans. In other words, I want a live-action version of the old 1980s Transformers cartoon, only with adult themes and actually death and consequences.

I don’t think anything like that will ever be made by Hollywood. But as special effects become more inexpensive, I’m hoping we’ll see fan-made films in a few years that are essentially Hollywood-quality. This will open up a whole new world to fanboy nerds like me.

20 Comments on “Five Movies I’d Like To See Made Someday

  1. I would just like to see a movie version of a Heinlein novel that doesn’t scrub all the Heinlein out of it. What they did to Puppet Masters and Starship Troopers was an abomination.

  2. The Silmarillion – This book is Tolkien’s prequel to The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And guess what? It’s better than either of them. Yes, it’s better than Lord of the Rings. Way better, at least in my opinion.

    Yep, and maybe some material from Unfinished Tales to cover the Second Age and early Third till the arrival of Gandalf in Middle Earth. Also the story of Turin son of Hurin in Silmarillion was expanded upon in Children of Hurin, I’d expect a Sil adaptation to heavily borrow from that.

    Funnily enough, the brief fight between Aragorn and the troll near the end of RotK was initially supposed to be Aragorn/Sauron, and was almost certainly inspired from the single combat between Fingolfin and Morgoth in Silmarillion (Aragorn stabs the troll’s foot, and in Silmarillion you have Fingolfin doing the same to Morgoth when the latter is stepping on him). Fuck yeah, a mere elf (though Elendil level of badassery) fighting a being even more powerful than Sauron. I’d like to see that on screen.

    Silmarillion would probably require a mini-series to be done right though, 4+ movies. I’d also worry that Hollywood imperatives would just butcher the material. Maybe in 10+ years progress in filmmaking tech will make it easier for hardcore fans to get good, faithful movies done even on a modest budget. An animated version does sound like a possible compromise.

  3. serious take on Transformers

    I don’t think the lack of seriousness was the problem with Michael Bay Transformers. They were just really bad movies in all aspects (yes even the expensive CGI was used in the worst way possible). Just look at Pacific Rim. That movie didn’t take itself seriously and it was great.

    Speed Racer

    I wonder what is your opinion on that movie? It’s my guilty pleasure. It’s weird since everyone seems to hate it but for some reason, I can’t help but love that damn movie. It’s one of the most faithful anime adaptations I have ever seen (not like there is much competition to be fair).

  4. I was just thinking about AVP movies.. It made me buy the Predator Omnibus (3 Novels in one). Then I ordered some HR Giger art as well. So I went full retard LOL.

    The Simallarion would be sick, I haven’t read it but I heard it is downright amazing. 

    Caleb I don’t know why you’re thinking that there will be a Legit Libertarian movie.. Our country is moving more to the far Left (Authoritarian Left) Hollywood is an extension of the Authoritarian Left Agenda. We don’t see real art in movies anymore the same we don’t really see unbiased Journalism (with the exception of those upfront with their biases), we just see Activism now. The last Star Wars was a good example of that.

  5. I don’t think the lack of seriousness was the problem with Michael Bay Transformers. They were just really bad movies in all aspects (yes even the expensive CGI was used in the worst way possible). Just look at Pacific Rim. That movie didn’t take itself seriously and it was great.

    It’s an issue of degree. Pacific Rim wasn’t serious, but Pacific Rim also didn’t have robots peeing on people, dogs humping each other, close-up shots of old men’s asses, robot testicles, etc, etc.

    Caleb I don’t know why you’re thinking that there will be a Legit Libertarian movie.. Our country is moving more to the far Left (Authoritarian Left) Hollywood is an extension of the Authoritarian Left Agenda.

    I addressed that in the article. A good libertarian movie could be made outside of Hollywood.

    As an example of what I’m talking about, look at Iron Sky. Made totally independent of Hollywood, only cost $10 million to make, and it was a decent movie with great special effects and so on. As time goes on, movies like this will be easier and easier to make.

    I’m looking forward to the day where normal, everyday fans can easily make movies that are Hollywood quality or close to it. That day is coming very soon.

  6. The Silmarillion is my absolute #1 of things I want to see being turned into a movie.

    But not now. Let’s wait 10-20 years until the current cultural disease has passed. The Silmarillion is too precious to be turned into a movie by Hollywood right now. They would destroy it just as they now destroy many other great franchises.

    Funny how we both have the LOTR trilogy as our favorite movie. But other than that, all these Marvel movies leave me completely cold.

  7. we just see Activism now.

    Seriously. It’s starting to get to me. External solutions are LITERALLY all I’m seeing online now. It’s like I can’t go anywhere online without seeing some group screaming about another group. Even on this blog now it seems. So much stupid REEEEing.

    I’d like for anyone to make a movie where all you see are these asshole activists blowing each other up. Just two hours of nothing but a buildup where for the first act they just shout at each other, the second act they get into giant brawls, and then in the last act they blow each other up. I’d pay lots of money to see that.

  8. Caleb,

    You may wish to read, if you have not already:

    a book by A.E. van Vogt, titled “The World of Null-A

    a book by A.E. van Vogt, titled “Renaissance

    a book by Alfred Bester, titled “The Demolished Man

    a book by Alfred Bester, titled “The Stars my Destination“.

    These are the movies I would like to see.

    I find it interesting that the novel “Renaissance“, which features a woman dominant (dominated?) society that has both the men and women unhappy in their reversed roles, is ignored on Wikipedia.

  9. Let’s wait 10-20 years until the current cultural disease has passed.

    The cultural disease won’t pass in 10-20 years. It will get worse.

    Funny how we both have the LOTR trilogy as our favorite movie. But other than that, all these Marvel movies leave me completely cold.

    I’m going to have to publish my all-time top 10 movie list. It’s gonna be hard to pick only 10.

    a book by A.E. van Vogt, titled “The World of Null-A

    a book by A.E. van Vogt, titled “Renaissance

    a book by Alfred Bester, titled “The Demolished Man

    a book by Alfred Bester, titled “The Stars my Destination“.

    Cool. Added to my reading list.

  10. Off the top of my head:

    Issac Bell series by Clive Cussler
    Post Human Series by David Simpson
    A James Bond movie that’s not crap. Imho the last good one was The Living Daylights. Make it as close to the novels as possible. Take out all the add placements, the SP and give a director like Christopher Nolan.

  11. I could name several books that would make SPLENDID libertarian themed TV series (NOT movies. Theatrical movies suck for book adaptation).

    Cross-Time Engineer – light hearted, very manly time travel story with a true Alpha Male 2.0 hero! Full of badassery, solving problems via engineering, and lots of sexy wenches. Basically its 20th century time-traveling engineer defending Europe from Mongol Invasion, while getting tons of medieval poon.

    The Unincorporated Man – excellent story about a man (suspiciously similar to Caleb in mentality and lifestyle) who wakes up from cryogenic sleep as the world’s last libertarian, and gets entangled into a conflict between hardcore corporate capitalists and hardcore space socialists. Kinda somber story, bit similar to Expanse, or maybe cyberpunk Game of Thrones.

    Transhuman Wager – completely unbashed, in-your-face libertarian transhumanist story about a guy basically establishing Ascendia, as a side effect of trying to become a transhuman and encountering too much red tape and collectivist resistance. Its basically 300 pages of revenge porn against collectivists, religion, state-lovers, deluded socialists, crooked corporatists, and superstitious idiocy.

    The Witcher Series – I know, it is being made anyway, but I have my fears it is going to be butchered by politically correct SP. I woudl prefer it true to original. The author of the series is an unapologetic old school libertarian, and his main protagonist is basically the best model of an Alpha Male 1.0 struggling and failing to be an Alpha Male 2.0

    Dies The Fire – post apocalyptic series where technology ceases to work, and people devolve into a medieval society. A great character analysis of what kind of people flourish under dire circumstances, and carve themselves empires, and which wither. The setting is basically an anarchist blank slate, but one where NAP is definitely NOT respected. Similar to the show “Revolution” but far, far, far better.

  12. As you’d mentioned in your earlier review of Civil War, I’d contend that the last two Cap movies, Winter Soldier and Civil War, both had at least libertarian leanings, about how government overreach and corruption muddies the path of the individualist.

  13. A Duke Nukem Movie. That game was such a defining part of my childhood. That and DOOM. The later got a movie but sucked. Way too many humans shooting each other instead of shooting demons, which is what DOOM is about.

    A realistic movie about Dante’s Inferno (not the animated one).

    A movie about some Malazan book of the Fallen book.

    A decent Hulk movie.

    A Rick and Morty Movie.

    A Starcraft movie.

    I like this post 🙂

     

  14. Amazon are doing a Lord of the Rings live action TV series, so they can have their own answer to Game of Thrones, but they’ve had to pay so much just for the rights (250 million), I don’t know how they’ll make a profit from it, as a first season will easily cost them 150 mill to make, which they can easily afford.

    They also have 2 years to do it, so they can’t fuck around for years, which is good.

    Amazon will probably have to resell it to free to air TV networks around the world, to break even, a year after Amazon streams it to their Prime Video customers.

    I’m not sure if they’ll get permission to do Simarillion, but if the estate is happy with it, they might. Peter Jackson isn’t involved.

  15. Agree on a good AvP movie-I was pretty stoked when they announced those way back when and was quickly let down when I saw them.  The idea of them breeding aliens to hunt which then get out of control is a cool idea but to your point it should not have been on Earth.

    Also Alien 3 was a turd and I always wanted to see an Alien movie where Hicks, Ripley, Newt and Bishop make it back home with an Alien in tow OR since they are all older now, fast forward to a new threat.  There were rumors of this happening but Ridley Scott’s Prometheus and Covenant trumped it I guess.

    A GOOD Justice League movie would be nice too-the one they made sucked.  I gave it a second watch to be sure and it was still crap.  Bad villain and dumb plot.  Marvel’s Avengers stuff blows it away.

  16. I was obsessed with xmen in the 80s and 90s so i was ecstatic with the movies.  I still see every one just for nostalgia sake.  I also was really happy with the Little Prince becoming a movie, because it was a story with a big impact on me when i was younger.  I actually read Michael Chrichtons jurassic park as a kid before it was a movie and that was an incredible experience.

     

    I would like to see the Alchemist as a movie.

  17. Problem with The Alchemist is it’s only 200 pages, so there’s probably only enough to make like a 1 hour movie.  I think this is why it hasn’t happened.

  18. As you’d mentioned in your earlier review of Civil War, I’d contend that the last two Cap movies, Winter Soldier and Civil War, both had at least libertarian leanings, about how government overreach and corruption muddies the path of the individualist.

    True. Another reason I love those two movies. Winter Solider was the shit.

    If you look very carefully, every once in a while you can find a movie with some libertarian leanings.

  19. Yes, you could do a movie with literally no dialogue. 

    Have Mel Gibson direct it. Both “Passion of the Christ” and “Apocalypto” had amazingly effective story telling without any English dialogue.

    What STUNS me is that they haven’t rebooted “Highlander” yet. With today’s SFX you could make the sword fights look much cooler and get a clean slate on the story to kind of retool the lore of the series.

    Shit, you could even make it a TV series again and put it on HBO. Get some better writers to add drama and multiple interesting main characters and you could have a real winner.

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