Caleb Jones

Disclaimer: I am neither conservative nor liberal. I criticize both heavily. I never, ever vote for either Republicans or Democrats (and frankly, you shouldn’t either).

I really have been trying to not talk about this, but I just can’t stand it.  (And a few of you have asked.)  Since I last posted about this, the protests have spread all over the country, and violence has started to erupt in earnest.

The Violence, and Who’s Really At Fault

As in all situations like this, both sides need to calm down for a minute.  The “They’re a bunch of hippies, get them the hell outta our city!” side and the “Fascist cops attacked us!  We weren’t doing anything wrong!” side both need to take a deep breath, calm the emotions for a minute, and turn on their brains.

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Several of you have emailed me about this.  So here we go.

I’m going to make this as cut-and-dry simple as I can.

1. Generally speaking, I like protests.  I like it when people rise up against those in power.  It is good that the people push back if pushed too hard.  It keeps people in power in place.

2. The problem with the Occupy Wall Street protests is the same fundamental problem as the Tea Party protests. The Tea Party wants government smaller…by voting for the “right” Republicans.  Problem is, Republican politicians like big government, so the entire concept is flawed.  Same problem here.  These Occupy Wall Streeters want Wall Street to have less power…by voting for the “right” Democrats.  Problem is, Democrat politicians love Wall Street and kiss their asses constantly (just look at Barack Obama’s right-hand-man in business matters, Jeffery Immelt, CEO of GE (which paid zero income taxes last year and the year before). Therefore once again, from a practical point of view at least, the entire concept is flawed.

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Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  This is Rock Jackman with tonight’s evening news.

Our top story tonight, the economy of the U.S. continues to falter.   Most people continue to bitch and moan and wait around for the Government To Do Something.  Liberals in congress today unveiled the Throw More Money At The Problem This Time We Promise It Will Work Act to almost universal approval to liberals.  Conservatives responded by saying “Don’t you morons understand throwing money at the problem is only a good idea when Republicans are in power?  Jesus!”  At which time the conservative spokesman was immediately terminated for using the word “Jesus” as an expletive.

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For about 20 years, looking at the desolation of American politics, I have often wondered “Why doesn’t some billionaire just make his own island out in international waters and do whatever he wants out there?”

Well, here you go.  Billionaire Paypal founder and one-time savior of Facebook Peter Theil just dropped $1.25 million to do just that.  He wants to create a man-made libertarian utopia 200 miles off the coast of San Francisco.  San Francisco?  Why San Francisco?  I was just there last week and it’s a nice city but…why there? Then I remembered Peter Theil is gay, and I said “Oh.”

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I am so shocked at all of this, congressman Anthony Weiner doing all of those horrible things, sexting porn stars and the like, while he’s MARRIED.  He says there’s “around six” other women in his life.  Holy shit that’s appalling!

I am just sitting with with utter shock that a married man, moreover an honored representative of all of us would ever do this.  I mean, monogamy works so well.  I mean…he promised to be monogamous to his wife when he married her.  Why can’t people just do what they promise?  Is that too much to ask, America?

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