As I talked about at the beginning of the year, I’ve cut way back on my movie watching lately, primarily due to the ongoing cultural collapse, Hollywood’s ability to make good movies has greatly diminished as compared to a few decades ago.
So I’ve been seeing much less movies lately than I normally do. This has improved my overall movie going experience, because I can be pickier about what I see, thus the odds of what I see being good is much higher.
This has really gotten me thinking lately about the kinds of movies I would like to see.
When I was a kid, my fantasy was that someday they would make a big budget full version of the Lord of the Rings, but I knew in my heart that would probably never happen, since LotR is way too long and complex a story to fit into a movie.
Yet, lo and behold, in 2001 Hollywood actually did it, and surprisingly, it was actually good.
The same could be said about the first Transformers movie. When I was a kid in the 80s, a live-action Transformers movie was a dream come true… and that dream finally came true in 2007. That first Transformers movie was actually pretty damn good. (The sequels all sucked of course.)
So movie fantasies really do happen.
Here are a few movies that I fantasize being made someday. Likely they will never happen. Or they will. Or they will be made by fans instead of Hollywood. I have no idea. It’s just fun to think about.
The Amber Chronicles – This is a series of fantasy books written by Roger Zelazny. They feature a warring family of near-gods who constantly plot against one another. The stories take place in many worlds, dimensions, and even our own Earth. The hero of the first five books is my favorite fictional character of all time, Corwin of Amber. The second five aren’t as good (but still decent) and feature his son as the protagonist. I highly recommend the series; it’s one of the best fantasy series ever written and is full of Alpha Male characters.
It would make a great movie. Like Lord of the Rings, The Amber Chronicles would have to be several movies, at least three, but possibly five or six. It would also have to be rated R to be accurate, since there is plenty of sex and violence (though not to Game of Thrones levels).
There has been talk about an Amber movie for years, but it looks like it probably will never happen. It would be amazing if it did though (and it was good and accurate to the books).
A good Aliens vs Predator movie with no (or few) humans in it. – One of my favorite comic books as a kid, and one of the best ideas I ever heard, was to have Aliens and Predators in the same movie, fighting each other.
As you know, they eventually made two movies about this. The problem is they both sucked balls. The first one made you wait over an hour to see the Aliens actually fight Predators while it wasted time with a bunch of poorly-acted human characters. The second movie was just pure shit.
Give me a serious take on an Aliens vs Predator movie. The best way to do this is to have no human beings in the movie. Holy crap, that would be all kinds of awesome. Yes, you could do a movie with literally no dialogue. They had comics like this; no dialogue, just you watching a group of Predators try to navigate a serious problem caused by the Aliens. Coolness.
If no humans is just too much for Hollywood to handle, then fine, throw a few disposable human characters in the first act just to get shit started. Then kill them and get to the good stuff.
The Silmarillion – This book is Tolkien’s prequel to The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And guess what? It’s better than either of them. Yes, it’s better than Lord of the Rings. Way better, at least in my opinion.
The Silmarillion covers a time span of literally tens of thousands of years, from the creation of the planet on which Middle Earth resides, all the way up to the beginning of Lord of the Rings. It could easily be three to six movies, if not more.
If such a thing were too expensive (and it might be, since the CGI required for Silmarillion would be at Speed Racer or Phantom Menace levels) then they could even do animated movies instead of live action. That would be fine with me, provided it was well done.
Seeing the Silmarillion, or even pieces of it on the big screen, and having it be well done, would be a dream come true.
A libertarian-themed movie that isn’t bad. – The few times they try to make libertarian-themed movies, they always turn out really terrible. There are rare exceptions to this; most people don’t realize that the original Ghostbusters is a hardcore libertarian movie, and that was one of the best comedies ever made. But yeah, films like the horrible Atlas Shrugged movies always turn out like shit (the third one in that series was so horrible that I actually felt uncomfortable watching it in the theater).
Give me just one strongly libertarian-themed movie that’s actually good. It can be in any genre; drama, comedy, sci-fi, whatever, I don’t care. Just give me something (besides Ghostbusters) that I can point at and say, “That’s a good libertarian movie! Go watch it!”
A serious take on Transformers – I want to see a Transformers movie that A) is not a comedy and B) features the Transformers as main characters instead of humans. In other words, I want a live-action version of the old 1980s Transformers cartoon, only with adult themes and actually death and consequences.
I don’t think anything like that will ever be made by Hollywood. But as special effects become more inexpensive, I’m hoping we’ll see fan-made films in a few years that are essentially Hollywood-quality. This will open up a whole new world to fanboy nerds like me.