This is the fifth installment in a series where I design, with your help, a small, hypothetical new nation called Ascendia, based on small government, personal liberty, and free markets. Please read parts one, two, three and four if you have not yet before reading this article so that you’re up to speed. Today I will lay out how Ascendia will handle its military.
As I talked about in the last installment in this series, it would be illegal for the government of Ascendia to attack any other nation without a formal declaration of war from the Assembly, which with today’s technology, would be quick to obtain if needed. A declaration of war would be given if any nation attacks any resource or citizen of Ascendia within Ascendia’s borders. Any attacks by any foreign nations on Ascendian citizens traveling or living aboard, outside of the nation’s borders, would be ignored. This is because individual citizens take their own safety into their own hands when they travel abroad, and no citizen can expect the government of their nation to go to war just because the citizen knowingly traveled to a dangerous part of the world, as I already described here.
However, Ascendia can and would use lethal military force to respond to attacks against or within its borders. Here are the military resources it would have available.
The first resource is that of bounties and assassination. If a nation ever threatened or attacked Ascendia, the Chief Executive of the Assembly would go on national TV, televised throughout the world and on the internet, and announce a one billion dollar bounty to be placed on the leader of the enemy nation, payable in any currency desired, tax free, to the first person who kills him. Moreover, this bounty would be paid to anyone, including the leader’s own wife, relatives, or bodyguards.
Today, when leaders attack or threaten each other, they use their militaries to attack the other’s military. But that’s stupid. The individual leader is the problem, and that’s the guy who needs to fear for his life.
By the way, since Ascendia would not be part of any supernational organization like the United Nations or NATO, it would not need to abide by any of these silly treaties making the assassination of foreign leaders illegal. Oh no, no, no. Assassinations are far more inexpensive in terms of money and loss of life than wars, and they’re much more fair. Ascendia would be happy to use this weapon to defend itself against aggressors.
The second resource would be Ascendia’s military. As a small nation, it would have a small army, a small air force, and a small navy. It would not have a separate marine corps (that would be part of the navy) nor a coast guard (that would be part of the navy). 100% of the military would consist of private contractors like Blackwater, since we know for a fact that these services cost far less than a government operated military. So government would pay for it and command it, but it would not actually soldier it. That would be done by professional mercenaries.
Next would be Ascendia’s nuclear weapons. Yes, Ascendia would have nukes if it could get them. History as clearly shown that no one screws with nations that have nukes, and that having nukes makes your population safer. Thus, Ascendia would work very hard to acquire nuclear weapons, even if it was just a handful of short-range tactical warheads.
Next would be Ascendia’s intelligence agency. Unlike the military, who would be commanded to stay within the borders of Ascendia at all times unless a declaration of war was declared, Ascendia’s intelligence agency could and would indeed be deployed all over the world, in any trouble spots that may threaten Ascendia, to quietly gather intelligence, just like any other intelligence agency. The more the intelligence agency can do, the less the military needs to do, and that’s a good thing.
This agency would be full of hardened badasses, and would be modeled on those agencies such as the FSB and the Mossad. It would have a scary name for marketing purposes, like the Lethal Intelligence Agency (L.I.A.) or even better, the Fearless Underground Cadre of Killers (F.U.C.K.). Agents of F.U.C.K. would be trained by the best in the world, and would (hopefully) be feared and/or respected by other nations.
Lastly would be the cyber warfare division, perhaps the most important part of the military. The government of Ascendia would hire all the weirdest, smartest, freakiest hackers in the world and put them to work. The US government would never hire hackers with purple mohawks and nose rings, but Ascendia would understand that these guys are often the most dangerous and effective hackers.
This would be the Hacker Battalion. If anyone screws with Ascendia, these guys would immediately go to work, shutting down the enemy nation’s banks, websites, power grids, transportation hubs, and so on. Again, the more they can do, the less the military has to do, which is always a good thing.
Given all these resources, here’s exactly what would happen if anyone was stupid enough to attack the friendly, noninterventalist nation of Ascendia:
1. A formal declaration of war would be made and announced to the world.
2. The Leader of the Assembly would immediately go on international TV and the internet and announce the one billion dollar bounty on the attacking leader’s head, and perhaps other high-ranking individuals in the enemy government.
3. Troops, ships, and planes would be immediately deployed to the attacker’s borders, if possible, but not actually attack yet (though of course they would respond to attacks with deadly force).
4. Agents of F.U.C.K. would flood the attacking country incognito, blowing up bridges, assassinating political and military leaders (but not civilians or low-end military), and sewing all kinds of chaos.
5. The Hacker Battalion would launch a full-scale cyber war against the attacker, shutting down airports, freezing bank assets, releasing sex tapes and photos of political and military leaders cheating on their wives, and all kinds of fun shit.
6. The government of Ascendia would announce to the world that they are willing to end the war at any time as soon as hostilities cease.
7. If none of this worked, the military would then attack the enemy nation, using lethal force while trying to keep civilian casualties as low as possible. No attacks on civilian targets would be allowed. None of this crap about bombing someone’s house just because a cell phone signal from a known combatant would be present without knowing who else was in the house. None of this stuff about bombing combatants just because they’re shooting guns in the air (it could be a fucking wedding). And so on.
8. At the end of the war, once peace was negotiated, 100% of all Ascendia troops would leave the attacking country and come back home, within the borders of Ascendia and international waters. There would never be any nation building, rebuilding, or reparations of any kind (if the ex-enemy wanted reparations or rebuilding, they shouldn’t have attacked Ascendia in the first place), and such activities would be strictly forbidden by the Enforceable Constitution and the CEA.
As I’ve explained numerous times in previous articles on this topic, most of this stuff is completely moot, since it would be very, very, very unlikely for any nation to attack Ascendia. Do you see lots of nations attacking friendly, small government, noninterventionalist nations like Switzerland or Hong Kong? No. And that’s the entire point. It would be extraordinarily unlikely that anyone would militarily attack (or even threaten) Ascendia at any time during its lifespan. A military is a necessary evil, but it would likely spend 100% of it’s time running drills and never actually fighting in a war… which is exactly what you want from your military.
Next installment coming soon.