Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is Rock Jackman with tonight’s evening news.
Our top story tonight, the economy of the U.S. continues to falter. Most people continue to bitch and moan and wait around for the Government To Do Something. Liberals in congress today unveiled the Throw More Money At The Problem This Time We Promise It Will Work Act to almost universal approval to liberals. Conservatives responded by saying “Don’t you morons understand throwing money at the problem is only a good idea when Republicans are in power? Jesus!” At which time the conservative spokesman was immediately terminated for using the word “Jesus” as an expletive.